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  • Tom Church

30 Ways To Ease Your Tension


30 Ways To Ease Your Tension (Ma Sage 1966-)

Sung to the tune of 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

The problem is not inside your head she said to me

The answer is easy if you take it anatomically

I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free

There must be thirty ways to ease your tension

She said it's never professional to be lewd

Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued

But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being rude

There must be thirty ways to ease your tension

Thirty ways to ease your tension

You just take a warm bath, Kath

Get a little zen, Ken

Hop up on the table, Mabel

To set yourself free

Sit in the chair, Blair

You don't need to talk much

Just circulate the Qi, Lee

To set yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain

I know there is something I can do to make you smile again

I said I appreciate that and would you please explain

About the thirty ways

She said why don't you just hop on the table tonight

And I believe in the morning you'll begin to feel alright

And then she touched me and I realized she probably was right

There must be thirty ways to ease your tension

thirty ways to ease your tension

You just take a warm bath, Kath

Get a little zen, Ken

Hop up on the table, Mabel

To set yourself free

Sit in the chair, Blair

You don't need to talk much

Just circulate the Qi, Lee

To set yourself free


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